i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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