I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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