i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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