well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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