I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
