don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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