Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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