I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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