At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
