What did we do last night that was yellow?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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