Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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