so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
