First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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