Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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