Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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