Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
