I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm way too hungover for life right now
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
