So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
