Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Randomize
