Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
