It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
