Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
