she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Randomize