Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
