first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Randomize
