You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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