well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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