...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
