upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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