It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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