Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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