he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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