you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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