I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
