I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
