Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
When did angry sex become our thing?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
