And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
