i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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