my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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