Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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