Your dad touched me again.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
