You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
