i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
