How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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