I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
