I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
