They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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