I am in a vortex of obligation.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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