The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
