I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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