Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
