Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
So squirting runs in the family.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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