when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
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