am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
the liver wants what the liver wants
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
