it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
