I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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