what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
